yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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