he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
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went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
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That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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