STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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