I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
