Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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