Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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