I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
