so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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