i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
