you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
