return my video game
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
