One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
