just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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