I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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