Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
