the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize