if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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