He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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