Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
