Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
