I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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