it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
