She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
