im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
