just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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