Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
