After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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