Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
