have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
