Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
there is puke in my bra ... again
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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