using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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