I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you will always have a special place in my vag
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize