She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
