Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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