I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
