Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
