Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
