Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize