So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
