How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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