Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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