Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
BRING THE BAGELS
Is this like a preordered booty call?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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