My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize