i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
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Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
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You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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