i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
