New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
