my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well I just put wine in my tea
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
