I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
