I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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