READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
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his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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