i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
