can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
