You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
