I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
