Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize