I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
