now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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