okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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