There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
