I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
