Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize