Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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