honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize