I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
