Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize