Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA

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(847): View more from Illinois

i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song

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(434): View more from Virginia

Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.

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(917): View more from New York City

i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment

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(254): View more from Texas

There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.

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(817): View more from Texas

You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?

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(626): View more from California

Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair

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(727): View more from Florida

No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."

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