all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
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Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats